I'm sorry but i had to go
by TheOfficalGleek
Summary: Ellie Nash has never thought about dying until a certain someone from her past returns AU Kinda dark CHAPTER 6 is up
1. Murderer Ellie

_**Summary-**_ After this they will call me a murderer except I took my own life not someone else's AU

_**Author's Note- **_ I needed to write something some what dark cause I just lost my grandmother on Sunday I felt like I needed to write something like this or I would explode… so I came up with this it is written in diary form and most of the characters will have a say

_**Disclaimer- **_ I don't own anything except the plot

Dear Journal,

After today they will call me a murderer. Except I didn't kill someone I only killed myself. After today Ellie Nash will be no more. I know were to cut I know how to cut, I have traced the veins on my arm I feel ready I feel scared. Today I will make a decision that will end my life. No one will care about little Ellie Nash. No one will go to her funeral or her grave. No one would care enough to see my body after I am dead when that's all I am a body. Not even him. He called me earlier today a few minutes before I started writing in here. I can remember our conversation to the T. The exact words…

" Hello?" I said into the phone

" Ellie?" The person on the other line said. I shivered. It couldn't be him I didn't want it to be him but I knew it was.

" Sssean?" I stuttered

" El. Hey." Hey that's it that's all you can say I wanted to scream and yell tell him how I still loved him but I couldn't force the words out. Tears fell down my cheeks in two thick streams and all I could manage to say was

"You left."

" I know and I am so sorry… El are you crying?" that's when the thought suicide came into my head the only solution. I knew that was a stupid thought I knew there were others ways.

" Know it's my turn." I said instantly regretting it. I heard moving on the other end and quickly hung up the phone. He was coming now. Probably calling Marco or Ash or Paige.

Shit

He's coming that doesn't give me that much time

When my name is in the paper Reveal why I killed myself maybe kids decades away can use it as a joke. Love me or I'll kill myself like Ellie Nash did. At least then everyone will know my name.

So consider this my suicide note. And my apology Marco Ash I really am truly sorry I didn't want this to end this way but I had nothing left

Yours Truly,

Ellie Nash


	2. Chapter 2

_**Author's note**_ this is Marco's chapter and I would really like some _**Reviews!!!!!!!!!**_

_**Disclaimer**_s don't own Degrassi but who ever does needs to know that I LOVE YOU!

MARCOS POV

My best friend tried to kill herself today. Wait let me rephrase that Ellie Nash Tried to kill herself. So here I sit. In a crowded hospital next Ashley and Paige both of them on either side of me, their heads rested on my shoulders. My mind went blank when I heard the news. I didn't know how I should feel better yet I couldn't feel… anything.

He had called me. The one to leave her alone had called me as they were loading her into the ambulance. The he I am referring to is Sean Cameron, The bad boy and my best friends first real love. Sean was hysterical and I had never seen or heard him like that. Right now Sean is downstairs at the food court trying t collect his thoughts. Just like me.

Paige sniffed and pulled her head of my shoulder before muttering

" What's taking so long?"

" If you don't want to be here you can leave?" Ashley replied bitterly as my eyes welled with more tears

" Stop it." I said quietly but Ashley kept talking

" Your not even Ellie's friend I believe the first word you said to her were vampire." Paige stood up and glared at Ashley

"STOP IT!" I screamed getting half the hospital to stop talking and look at me

" You both are just upset and before one of you says something you regret sit down and shut up we are here for Ellie not for you two to start bickering. I don't care what you have to do just… just don't talk to each other." I said calming both the girls down before returning to my stop in between them. Today is not going to be the day they finally work out their problems.

Ash crossed her arms and plopped down next to me when Paige left to go in to the bathroom. Replacing her spot beside me was Sean. He sat down and cradled his head in his hands gripping a crumpled up piece of paper in his hands.

" Why did you come home? I asked quietly. He slowly handed the paper over to me. It was a page from Ellie's diary **(Author's note- this next part contains pieces of Chapter one.) **I unrumpled the paper and begin reading bracing myself for what's next.

_Dear Journal,_

_After today they will call me a murderer. Except I didn't kill someone I only killed myself. After today Ellie Nash will be no more. I know were to cut I know how to cut, I have traced the veins on my arm I feel ready I feel scared. Today I will make a decision that will end my life. No one will care about little Ellie Nash. No one will go to her funeral or her grave. No one would care enough to see my body after I am dead when that's all I am a body. Not even him. He called me earlier today a few minutes before I started writing in here. I can remember our conversation to the T. The exact words…_My breath caught in my throat and I didn't want to read more but somewhere deep inside I found the will power to continued

" _Hello?" I said into the phone_

" _Ellie?" The person on the other line said. I shivered. It couldn't be him I didn't want it to be him but I knew it was._

" _Sssean?" I stuttered_

" _El. Hey." Hey that's it that's all you can say I wanted to scream and yell tell him how I still loved him but I couldn't force the words out. Tears fell down my cheeks in two thick streams and all I could manage to say was_

"_You left."_

" _I know and I am so sorry… El are you crying?" that's when the thought suicide came into my head the only solution. I knew that was a stupid thought I knew there were others ways._

" _Now it's my turn." I said instantly regretting it. I heard moving on the other end and quickly hung up the phone. He was coming now. Probably calling Marco or Ash or Paige._I shook my head and tried to tell myself that it want real. Ellie had really tried to kill herself and the cause was sitting right next to me. I knew that I had led her to think like this that I could be a reason couldn't blame Sean and I couldn't blame Ellie. Damn it El. Why do you gotta do this to me why El why? My eyes trailed back to the paper

_Shit_

_He's coming that doesn't give me that much time_

_When my name is in the paper Reveal why I killed myself maybe kids decades away can use it as a joke. Love me or I'll kill myself like Ellie Nash did. At least then everyone will know my name._

_So consider this my suicide note. And my apology Marco Ash I really am truly sorry I didn't want this to end this way but I had nothing left_

_Yours Truly,_

_Ellie Nash_

Her one wish was to reveal why she did this to herself in the paper. Her one wish. No I told myself she didn't need one wish because she will survive I will not let her dye on my.

Ellie's hospital room door opened and out stepped a doctor with an unreadable expression on his face. " I need to speak to a family member." He said and that's when everything went black.


	3. AUTHOR'S NOTE

_**Author's Note**_- Will not update this story until I get at least 2 reviews telling me that they are reading this story because at this point I am about to just abandon this. I have other things I could write and that are ready to go up but they will not until I get some reviews so please please review


	4. Strong Paige

_**Author's Note**_- thanks all around to my reviewers and as you can see I am back with the 3rd chapter but I still want some REVEIWS!!!!! This chapter is in Paige's POV

_**Disclaimer-**_ Don't own Degrassi if I did I would not be writing fanFICTION its called fanFICTION for a reason

_**PAIGE POV**_

We have been here for 2 hours. Nothing has happened. We have no news and I was starting to get frustrated. I wanted to know what was going on but mostly I wanted to know why Ellie would do this to herself. The cutting was terrible absolutely horrible, trying to kill yourself is different in an extreme way. There are more ways to deal with stuff. Never would I have thought I would find myself in this situation. Crying because Ellie Nash tried to kill herself. Crying because Ellie Nash might be dead.

I'm not worried about myself though either outcome I know someday I will get over it but I'm worried about Marco. He did not take the news easily. He screamed and yelled at me to get Dylan to drive us to the hospital. Here he is now staring at the hospital door numbered 249. It's to be expected, I mean he just found out that Ellie had tried t commit suicide. His best friend. Yup I admitted it. Marco is closer to Ellie than I will ever be they were inseparable in 9th grade. So they were dating or pretending to date ( I never really understood that even with a gay brother) but that didn't matter, they were best friends always will be.

I just found out that Sean is here. Apparently he was the one to find her bleeding in here room. I don't know why he was even back home. I mean he left Ellie for his parents' 2 months ago what brings him back? Maybe that was it. Maybe it was Ellie that made him come back. I decide not to ask him though. It will make him even more upset.

Ash and me just got into a fight earlier. About Ellie. She told me that I was never really her friend and I know that but I wanted to ask her if she knew about Ellie's …issue. I wanted to tell her that I had helped Ellie when she couldn't. When we said those things to each other it hurt Marco badly. Here we are his other two closest friends arguing about who was/is a better friend to a girl who may be dying.

I see now that Sean's back from drowning his sorrows in coffee. I feel slightly bad when Marco asks him something and his eyes well with tears. Sean hands Marco a piece of crumpled up paper stained with black (ink stains most likely) that probably says some of the information that I am dying to here. Like why someone would want to do this to themselves. Silently I study Marco's face as he reads and it seems like with every sentence his heartbreaks even more. I know I will have to watch him closely in the next few days.

All of a sudden the room 249's door opens and out steps a doctor. The man is tall and tired. His face marked with lines of experience and an unreadable expression. I watch Marco stand and walk over to the man. I get up and follow him bracing myself for what's next. " I need to speak to a family member." And then I feel Marco start to sway; gently I grab his shoulders and lead him to a chair as Sean takes Marco's place in front of the doctor" I'm her brother." He tells the doctor face grim." Well… Your sister Eleanor punctured a major artery we were able to stop the bleeding but we are not sure if we will be able to replace it in time her condition is unstable we are doing everything we can but we don't know how long she will survive I am sorry." Marco's crying increased and this time he was the one leaning on my shoulder. Silent tears rolled down my cheeks and for the first time I saw Sean start to sob. Gently I removed myself from Marco's grasp and turned to the doctor" But there is still hope right?" " There is a very minimum chance of survival in her case but yes you shouldn't give up hope but you shouldn't get your hopes up either." I nodded and excused myself to the bathroom. I had never been the strong one in these cases. I splashed water on my face and breathed in deeply. I pulled my cell phone out of my small pink purse and pressed speed dial number 3. Spinner." Hello?" He answered." Spin it's me Paige you need to come to memorial hospital as quick as possible."" What why are you alright your not hurt?" My eyes filled again" I'm fine… it's Ellie." My voice quivered and almost failed completely at the end." Do you need my to come pick me up? Or just to come?" " I just, I just need you Spin." With that I hung up the phone praying that he would be here soon.


	5. breaking sean

_**Author's Note-**_ here is today's chapters this is chapter 4 but I still want reviews at least 2. This is Sean's chapter.

_**Disclaimer-**_ don't own Degrassi never have but I hope I will. I write fiction not the actual script

SEAN POV

I couldn't breathe, I couldn't think. She was dying and it's all my fault. They mine as well call me a murderer and lock me up in jail because without her I am nothing. I watched as Paige ran into the bathroom and as Marco collapsed in a chair. I watched when Ashley fell to her knees sobbing and as my eyes filled with tears.

Pushing open the heavy hospital door I forced myself to look at the girl in the bed. This was not Ellie. She looked so small and helpless. Only one other time have I seen her this vulnerable and that was when I told her that I had to leave and move in my parents 'to cope'. I have seen her cry many times but never was she once weak or at least she never let anyone see it.

I fell into the hard, wooden straight-backed chair by her bed and grabbed her hand. Her skin was ice cold and almost seemed transparent. Ellie's long red hair had fallen out of her ponytail and was now matted around her face. I hated seeing her like this I almost made me sick. Knowing that I was the cause was worse.

I wanted to pull Ellie out of that bed and run with her far away, as far gone as possible away from everything. Razors, schools and too dunk to care about their kids parents. But I knew it wasn't possible, I know that there is a chance that I will never get to speak to her again. Shaking the thoughts out of my head I gently moved a strand of hair out of her face and said

" Hey Ellie." I noticed the shaking in my voice and paused taking a deep breath" We miss you." I said " El we need you its not the same without you. I love you Marco loves you, Ash even Paige. We need you to pull through this to show us how strong you are. I need you." I took my hand and rubbed the back of her's before lacing my fingers through her small thin ones. My face fell when they didn't respond like they used to.

" El when I left you I thought it was for the best. I didn't want to hurt you by staying but what I didn't realize is that leaving just hurt you more. I never wanted it to end this way Ellie. I thought when I came back you would be there waiting for me that everyone would be, but no one is. No one will even speak to me they all blame me and I do to. And I know you can hear me right now and I need you to listen."

I stopped half expecting her to say something but she didn't. It could have been just my imagination but I swore I saw her eyelids flutter. So the whole night I sat there wondering how long it would be until I woke up from this horrible nightmare.


	6. caregiver emma

_**Author's Note-**_ all characters will have pov's in this story review and tell me who you wanna see next sorry the chaps are so short. This is Emma

_**Disclaimer- **_insert creative/funny way to say I don't own Degrassi here.

EMMA POV

I walked up the front steps of Degrassi Community School. Another Monday another start to a new week another school day filled with homework, rumors and annoying step dads. I sighed and walked into school looking for my best friend Manny Santos. The short brunette came running over to me purse clutched in her hands. I inked my arm in her's and walked down the hall.

" So what's new?" I asked her even though I had just seen her yesterday. " Not much other than these shoes they are so awesome I got them at-" I cut her off." I know Rainbow I was with you remember." I said laughing" Oops I forgot." I felt a tap on my shoulder and turned around to find J.T. Yorke standing there with a huge grin on his face. We called him J.T. the Jokester for a reason. Manny sent him a small wave and then proceeded to open her locker." Hey J.T." I said" Hey Emma… Manny. So you guys all caught up on the Monday morning gossip train yet? He asked leave it to J.T to know everything." No what's going on?" I asked " Well I heard that Rob Mendez hooked up with Heather Sinclair but I don't believe that and I also heard that Ellie Nash is in the hospital." He said and a look of confusion came over my face." What why?" Manny asked slamming her locker closed."Apparently she tried to kill herself." My mouth dropped. No way." Oh, um, wow how do you know?" I asked. I was never friends with Ellie but I didn't hate her and certainly didn't want her to die.`" Well I passed an empty classroom this morning and heard someone crying and someone else talking. I heard a girl say that they were at the hospital al night with Marco and Ashley. Then the other person said how could someone try to kill themselves. Later to find out that it was Paige and Spinner. Oh and also Toby said that Ash told him. I blinked a few times and Manny looked dumfounded" Oh My Go that's terrible is she okay?" Manny asked," Didn't sound like it." He said " well there's Liberty by guys." Slowly I closed my locker and looked around several people had been listening in. Great.

" Well that's not something I expected to hear this morning I mean people at Degrassi don't just try and kill themselves." Manny nodded

" I have an idea how about how about we go and visit her after school me and Marco are sort of friends and would probably be right." Manny said.

It wasn't actually a bad idea.


	7. saved MannyAshley

_**Author's Note_**_ oh my god I am so sorry for not updating in a few days this story only has a few chaps left and I hope you like then. Please Review. This is Ashley and Manny's chapter

_**Disclaimer-**_ what I do own- the plot

What I don't- jus about everything else

ASHLEY POV

Right, left, right. I turned the lock on my locker quickly trying to rid my head of all these thoughts. Ellie and Craig and back to Ellie. They were talking about her. Talking about how she tried to kill herself. They all knew.

" Did you hear about Ellie Nash?" they would say

" Ya I heard she tried to kill herself."

" Ya that's what I heard."

" I heard she cuts herself to." I couldn't take it. Thank god the school day was almost over. One more period I told myself 40 minutes left and then I would be at the hospital with Marco and Paige and… Sean. Today was the day we found out the fate of our friend.

Just then 2 large hands covered my face but I shook them off. I didn't want to be in the dark I know it was silly but I just couldn't be in the dark not without Ellie. I turned around and faced Craig.

" What are you doing after school?" He asked and I glared at him. He knew what I was doing I told him yesterday well more like sobbed to him yesterday what happened

" I told you, I'm going to visit Ellie," My eyes filled with tears and I paused. " I need to be there to deal." I removed his hand from my shoulder

" Oh sorry, do you want me to come it might help you." He gaze softened

" Um I think, I think I should ya actually you would do that?" he nodded and pulled me into a tight hug before kissing me on the lips softly. I pulled away and mumbled

" I've got to get to class." I turned around and ran of in the opposite way of my English class.

Running down the hall, ignoring al the stares and whispers as I passed. I prayed that no one was in the bathroom but my prayers came unanswered when I saw 3 girls. Manny and Emma were leaning against one wall talking quietly to each other and Heather Sinclair was leaning against the sink fixing he makeup she giggled as I passed. Once in a stall I sank to the floor sobbing quietly. The lock on the door turned and then clicked open revealing two of the girls previously mentioned. Manny Santos and Emma Nelson were staring at me with looks of confusion plastered on to their 16-year-old faces.

" Are you alright." Emma asked me. I shook my head

" Haven't you heard the rumors?" I asked standing up.

" We are not going to lie we did." Manny said and I glared at her.

" Then that was a stupid question. My best Friend committed suicide yesterday and your just asked me if I'm ok. Tell me how would you feel?" I snapped my mood changing from upset to mad.

" Your right sorry." Emma said. The 2 girls looked at each other and then at me before Manny said.

" We were gonna visit her after school. If we could get a ride but if you're up to it we can go now. Maybe it would help ya know having people there with you and besides I have a spare this period." I stared at the girls looking for some hint of lying. I mean me and Manny hated each other she would never be this nice. I wiped my eyes on my sleeve and said.

" You're serious." They nodded " Ok let me just get Craig to drive us."

MANNY POV

Never in a million years would I have imagined that I would be in the backseat of Craig Manning's car with Emma right beside me and Ashley Kerwin in the front seat on are way to visit Ellie Nash in the hospital because she committed suicide. But hey life throws you things that you don't expect. I mean no one would have expected Ellie to commit suicide either. I am nervous about what I am going to see today. Here sitting in the backseat I feel already like I shouldn't be here but Emma insisted that I come after I mentioned it.

After a ten minute long drive we had finally reached the hospital and my heart was beating wildly in my chest and I didn't know why. Ashley ran up to the front desk and found Ellie's room number. Before I knew it we were on our way down the hall of the intensive care ward of Memorial hospital. Occupying 2 of the 7 chairs outside hospital room number 149 were Marco and Sean Cameron. I was really surprised to see Sean from what I heard Sean and Elie did not end on good terms and here he was sitting outside her hospital room looking heartbroken.

Emma gasped when she saw him but quickly recovered and turned to sit down in 1of the last chairs I sat down next to her. Ashley collapsed in a chair and started crying on Craig shoulder. Right then a doctor came out of the room as Marco and Sean jumped out of their seats obviously they had been waiting for this.

" I have some good news and some bad news." The doctor said.

" Ellie is going to be ok. We were able to repair the blood and stitch up her cut but we are going to have to put he on suicide watch and possibly send her to a rehab center for suicidal teens depending on how well she responds to the treatment." After that everything went silent except for everyone letting out a deep breath. If I was ever told before yesterday that I would be in this situation I would laugh in their face but now that I'm here I knew it was the right thing to do.


	8. Finally Alive

_**READ AUTHOR'S NOTE FIRST**_

_**Author's Note-**_ hey its me and this is the last chapter of this story. I will be continuing I almost had it next then probably taking a break from chaptered stories because of school and dance classes and competitions and whatever else gets in my way but there is a chance of One shots in your near future so I will stop talking and you can read the story

_**Disclaimer-**_ See other chapter for Disclaimer

_**ELLIE POV**_

It was bright and loud which is a change because for the last I don't know days, months, years? It has been dark and silent like a tunnel with no end. I couldn't make out any shapes it was all a blur of light and it sounded like a roaring in my ears, like when your really close to a train as it passes. I was for once in my life scared. I was scared what I would see when I woke up or when this torture ended. I was afraid that I had failed, that I was still alive and that this was just a faze of unconsciousness. I was afraid to go back to the hellhole called earth.

But funny thing is I was afraid to die to. I don't know what I was thinking when I pressed the razor down on my vein. I know I didn't want to live any more but I didn't want to die. I was so messed up and I just hoped that this torture ended soon. And it did.

After a while I began to be able to make out shapes in front of me and words in a certain phrase. That's when I knew I was alive. I had failed again I had failed at murdering myself I was pathetic. Rushes of pain swept over my left arm more in my wrist area than any were else. The pain was intense and I couldn't take it I squeezed my eyelids together and took fast breaths. I was waking up and soon I would have to face everyone or anyone that was there. They would probably sweep me into a Mental Facility so who cares?

With that everything cleared before me and I could see everything. Four off white walls one had a window into which you could use to see into the waiting room surrounded me. There were about seven people there and several I was surprised to see. Emma, Manny, Paige, Spinner, Ashley,nd Sean but were was Marco.

I felt someone move on the side of my bed so I turned my head and saw there was the one and only Marco Delrossi lying there his head twisted in an uncomfortable position tear tracks on his face. Slowly his eyes opened and he stared at me.

" El?" He whispered stroking my hand " Oh Ellie." He said bursting into uncontrollable sobs. " Why El why would you do that. El please tell me." I blinked trying not to cry

" I…I don't know I just… Marco I'm so sorry. Everything kind of just came up on me all of a sudden and I couldn't take it." I cried and noticing for the first time that my arms had been uncovered and that he was staring at my scars.

" Ellie, You…you could have called me Ellie Suicide is not the answer I could have helped." He said pulling the blanket up higher over my arms obviously not wanting to see the graffiti I had made on my skin.

" I just… you were… I just guessed you were with Dylan and I didn't want to bother you." I said scratching at my eyes trying to stop the heavy flow of tears

" You are so much more important than Dylan. If you dyed I don't know what I would do with out you and Ellie there was a point yesterday were the doctors they didn't think you would make it. I couldn't take it El. For the first time in my life I skipped school. I stayed here with you and… and Sean." He whispered the last word I shook my head

" Marco I am so so sorry I don't know what I was thinking." I didn't do well in these situations and the tears were still flowing from my eyes in a stream making my words almost inaudible. He grabbed me in his arms and embraced my tightly I never wanted to let go.

" Marco?"

" Mhmm?"

" There is something else we should tal-"

" Not now rest up I am going to go tell the others your awake." He cut me ff that was a conversation for another day.

I lay there fiddling with the end of my hospital gown. Waiting for Marco as thoughts ran through my head. Thoughts about why I really did do this to myself and thoughts about Sean. That's right Sean Cameron I have just woken up from trying to kill myself and I was thinking about why the hell Sean Cameron was here. He didn't have a right to be here and when the heavy metal hospital door opened I knew it wasn't Marco.

" How long?" I asked in a voice that I didn't even recognize as mine." How log has it been since you've seen me?"

" El…" He started but I didn't let him finish

" No, save it." I said looking up and for the first time in a while his bright blue eyes stared deeply into my bloodshot green ones two colors unknown to the universe just like him and me.

" Sean why did you bring me here. Why did you want to save me? Why didn't you just let me die?" I asked and tears fell from his eyes. Sean Cameron was crying!

" Ellie, I am so sorry I didn't want to hurt you. The truth is I couldn't build up the nerve to call you. I still love you Ellie. And seeing you bleeding on the floor will be an image that will stay with me forever. I'm moving back Ellie we don't have to be away from each other anymore." He stated and I actually considered what he was saying

" Go." I said

" What?"

" Sean I cant do this with you I'll just end up here again or maybe worse net time we cant do this again. I want to I really do I just… cant." He nodded and stepped out the door. I hurt him and I couldn't take it.

" Sean." I called and he turned around slowly.

" We can try if you want but you can't leave me ever again." He smiled and said

" I promise." Before stepping out completely.

I had a good amount of visitors that day but the most surprising was probably the two girls in the world that I didn't expect to see well other than Heather Sinclair.

Emma Nelson and Manny Santos. The came in and apologized, APOLOGIZED!

Telling me that they were sorry and actually looked on the verge of tears it was so weird.

Finally after a eek o being in the hospital I was released and put on suicide watch. Everyone who had come to the hospital had promised to not tell anyone but that didn't make my first day back to Degrassi C.S. any better. People stared at me and whispered things behind my back. My teachers kept shooting me nervous glance and Ms. Sauve called me down to her office three times that day saying that she was just checking on me. I sat with Marco, spinner, Paige, Manny, Craig, Emma and Ashley at lunch (what a group) which was the worst part of my day. I could hear my name come out of every person's mouth at least once. But that was not the bad part I was already used to being talked about good or bad.

I watched as Heather Sinclair made a beeline toward me lunch try in hand and my heart started pounding in my chest. Oh no.

" Queen of Evil coming this way." Emma whispered across the table I think I saw Craig sink a little lower into his chair and Paige tensed up glaring at Heather. She walked right over to us and picked up my tray.

" Ellie I see you're back lovely. But I don't think you should be allowed to have anything sharp." She started taking my utensils off my tray.

" Like forks or knives or even spoons you remember what happened last time when you got to close." My lower lip quivered I wasn't in the comeback mood.

" Hmm nothing to say. Well let's see what's under your sleeve other than you stitches. How many other scars do you have Ellie?" She said laughing throwing my lunch to the side and reaching for my arm I pulled away and ran out of the lunchroom. Teenagers were evil.

I made it through the rest of the week with the help of my friends and boyfriend. Every time I felt like I couldn't take it anymore I would call them and someone would come over to calm me down. It was nice to have people around me that were so supportive. After awhile people stared to forget what I did to myself and I was never the subject of anyone's conversations any more. But everyone that I am close to will always remember that fateful day. I have th scars to prove it.

_**Every 18 minutes someone dies from a suicide every 43 seconds someone attempts one so if you or someone you know is suicidal call 1-800-784-2433.**_


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